Re-establish (R.R.R. 3 part series)


Have you been hard at work recognizing?

What have y'all recognized over the week?

Were there things that came up that was surprising to you?

I know it can be hard to recognize some things, because in some cases, it means letting go. It means letting go of the things that have hurt, hindered, or damaged your way of life. It hurts to admit to the things that have put hardship in your life. And it might sound weird, but letting go is scary because you are afraid of what it will feel like without that one thing in your life. You can start feeling deep remorse and even a feeling (or a sense) that it was wrong to admit to that wrong in the first place.


This is a sign that what you let go of really did need to go.

Now, remember what we recognize does not always have to be something that hinders our life (like addiction), but maybe it is just something that is (or never was) beneficial to you.

Maybe it is a sport that you thought that you liked, but it never gave you a natural high.

Maybe there are some relationships that you have been in that were only full of jealousy and comparison.

Maybe you have a job that you are only doing for the money, but it is just barely allowing to live both financially successfully and joyfully.

Yes, I know that "just choosing a job" is probably one of the most controversial topics. Some might even say that "I cannot just go out and find another job."

But I do have some refutation points to this statement.

In economics class (hoot hoot reference from school) we talk a lot about what makes the economy flourish. This includes human flourishing, greed vs. self interest, and biblical self interest. We went into deep discussion about how everyone, EVERYWHERE, is created for a specific task in the economy. If everyone was to do the same thing, work in the same place, go to the same college, make the same amount of money, have ritzy cars and fancy houses, why would we need multiple people to make up the economy?


If everyone was meant to do the same thing, there would be no economic flourishing.

There would be no human flourishing.

We were all made for a different purpose, reason, and task that was designed to allow us to efficiently contribute to the economy.

Fulfilling this, is fulfilling your truth.

It does not matter how big or little your job is, if you absolutely hate your job, this should be the first sign that this was not the task that you were meant to fulfill your truth with.

The baker would not be able to bake without clean dishes and food imported from all over the world, country, or city.

The doctor would not be able to proceed with his procedure without the help from nurses, assistants, and technicians.

The manager would not be the manager without employees of all kinds.

So, what I am really saying is that society can often times get in the way of making us feel like our role in the community is not big enough, but this is all wrong.

We were all designed to work in some way somewhere.

And we need to remember that there are going to be times where we do need the extra money and we are going to have to do things that we do not always enjoy, but I want the majority of your life to be filled with joy.

Joy from whatever you do.

Because if you do not feel joy, then what you are doing is not worth the stress and anxiety.

Allow yourself to have a good time.

So, I encourage you to explore your options. Look around, and find what you were meant to do in the economy.

And remember, this is not greed this is self interest!

If you want some more references, these are great resources, straight from school (LOL)

So, everything said above is an example of re-establishing; which is this week's R.

Re-establishing a positive attitude, thought, or attachment to the situation in which you are struggling. I am also saying that re-establishing is allowing for action to take place in the part of your life that is no longer benefiting you.

One of the things that I like to think of is using past experiences as an example of re-establishing a positive environment for your life today.

So, take yourself back to when you were little.

Maybe you had a friend that was obviously not a true friend because he/she called you names, made fun of you and just made you feel like a big ball of crap. (By the way, people act in this way because they have not yet begun their journey to self realization and recognition. When insecurity takes over in your life you say things to bring others down as well).

You need to first, take yourself back to what I like to call, "your little self", and recognize that this relationship is an unhealthy one that is no longer beneficial to your life.

Then, you can start re-establishing a positive action toward the situation.

Tell your friend (as if you were really doing it) that you need to separate yourself from this friendship because it is not creating in you a light in which you can shine to others.

I love to do this because our past experiences affect our lives today. We are subconsciously affected by things that have happened to us in the past because they can create anxiety, sadness, a feeling in a us that makes us feel worthless.

But #1: Feelings are not always facts. So remember that. Feelings are not always facts. So, just because you feel a certain feeling, like worthless, this DOES NOT mean you are worthless.

And #2: Your worth does not come from other people's opinions or judgments. There are always going to be people or situations in your life that make you feel unable to be successful or worthy of anything, but your worth is not based on other people or other situations. You are valued, because you have value within yourself.

You must practive this exercise for every unhealthy situation.

Now, I am hoping that this is starting to make sense because sometimes I feel like i just mumble and jumble.

But, I want this to make sense, so I will use an example that is in the present form.

For example, when I was very sick, the first thing that I needed to do was to recognize that I was ill.

Then, I needed to take action (in which is not easy at all and is a very long practice with lots of patience and determination).

Since it is not easy at first, the first thing that I can do to re-establish a positive thought or healing by setting goals, educating, getting help, going to treatment, etc.

These are all ways that create a positive attachment to the situation. Which leads to finding recovery.

I like to use the past as an example because things from the past really do affect us in our present.

Moving from house to house >> anxiety

Losing someone you love >> deep sadness

Traumatic events in our life >>PTSD

The things that have happened to us before our presence on November 30, 2018, now affect the way we function and live as human beings.

Anxiety fueled my eating disorder.

I had relationships that were unhealthy, I moved from Gillette, Wyoming to Bullard, Texas. Moved from school to school with bullies everywhere.

These were all events in my life that really impacted who I am today.

But, by taking myself back to my little self, I recognized that these things did cause problems in my life today. So, I tell my little self that "everything is going to be okay". "You have made it through and you are stronger because of it".

I re-established a positive attitude toward every negative situation and got the help I needed.

Another helpful thing is whenever you have a harsh thought that you throw at yourself, it is very important to either create an affirmation (i'll probably make a blog all about creating affirmations for a personal growth experience, but for now we will use the one listed below), or use some other type of coping skill that brings you OUT of the thought. This is the first step in re-establishing because by bringing ourselves out of the thought we place the energy in the thought toward something else, like something that will allow us to spend more time thinking about fulfilling our truth.

One of my favorite affirmations is...

"Even though I am feeling these feelings of hatred and doubt, I realize that my thoughts are not real and have no power over me. I realize that feelings are not facts, and I do not have to treat myself or others in this way. So, I will continue to love myself, approve of myself, and accept myself"

You can also create a tapping rhythm while also saying the affirmation. Here is a great tapping video if you want to know more about tapping and its benefits.

And then what do I do?

I stay gentle with myself, remind myself of the worth that comes from that negative thought (NOTHING), remove myself from what I am doing so I can refocus my attention on re-establishing a positive environment that will remind me of something nice. Like the fact that I was able to pull myself away from that negative thought, and I can do it again and again.

So, now it is your turn.

What were some things that you recognized over the week?

Maybe you noticed that you are really jealous of someone in your life?

So, what do you do?

Either create an affirmation that immediately brings you out of the thought and places that energy into something else. Another thing that is REALLY bold is to even confront your friend of your feelings. This is a very brave thing to do, but hey at least it gets it off your chest. If you do not want to tell your friend, you can always tell someone else. This is re-establishing a healthy attitude and connection toward getting rid of the problem.

What are some other things?

Maybe you have been playing a sport for a really long time and you recognize that it is no longer serving you in fulfilling your truth.

So what do you do?

Take action in re-establishing a healthier form of entertainment.

Switch it up a little, find something that makes you feel joyful.

But, leave the other with acceptance and gratitude for all that it taught you.

I think that it might be starting to make sense a little bit more (I hope so).

But the bottom line is,

We all have things that have bothered us, bother us, and will bother us.

The most important thing to do is recognize what the problem is and the hurt that it is causing us.

Then, we start to take action in creating a way to fix the problem or unhealthy situation.

This is known as re-establishing.

We can change the way we think about ourselves, experiences, and others by engraving in us a new way of thinking about it.

It is like retraining your brain.

And for everyone, the amount of time it takes to retrain your brain varies.

But, it is very important to leave every negative situation in your life with an opportunity for experiment.

Experiment with situations in your life that have engraved in you a negative attachment, and re-establish a positive attitude toward that one thing.

And allow this to be your new form of how you see things in your life.

Make it fun, have fun, explore, and allow yourself to find out what it is that will help you to fulfill your truth!

And remember, we are all here to change the world one mind, one body, and one soul at a time! (that is something that we can all do within the same realm) ;)

I love you all, and you are all deserving of love and fulfillment. And my only hope and prayer, is that you may believe that too.

-Tori Kay-



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